Stress

I've never felt this stress before in my life.

Losing Jacky dog is like losing one of my family member.

House got broken into twice within months, once almost got my mum killed.

I am now having 2 midterm test within a week and an assignment to pass up.

Imagine the time i needed to prepare all these.

Every night my mind is playing with me, the feeling of losing someone you love, the mindset of holding something that you could not tell anyone.

Every night i feel afraid, i was having thoughts what and how would i feel if i lose my family members now. Losing Jacky dog made me realize how important safety is.

At the same time, i feel guilt.

The guilt the fact that i'm keeping a secret and did nothing about it whereas i should have done something about it.

College started and i merely gave up what i've had planned.

Should have done the right thing. Well to be fair, i still have a chance to do it.

There's always a but. But studies is going on and i never wanted it to affect my studies.

Another matter of guilt, i've treated someone really badly and really mean.

Now he is alone and when i saw what he was going through, my empathetic sense held up and the guilt grew strongly that i regret every single devilish thing i've done towards him withing months. Yes, i have been mean to him withing months until last week.

These are the thoughts that goes through my mind every single night after the second break in which cost me to lose my Jacky dog.

I can break down in tears if i want to, but the mind is not letting me.

I feel like holding a hard wooden stick and whack the shit out of something, well preferably the new Light Brown Saga car which named as WVU 7782.

I have a friend who i've known since high school.

He's always undermining people.

He's always taking friends for granted.

But i've chose to kept quiet.

All these shits have been going through my sick mind.

Sometimes i wonder why are all these going in my thinking process all at once?

and sometimes i ask myself does God even exist?

If yes then why aren't you doing anything?

Why didn't you give my family some peace?

My family have not killed anyone and why? Why do we live in fear?

Why murderers are out there living their ass nicely?

and why normal people which have awesome heart and humanity have to die in an ugly way?

God, if you are ever reading this (lol) please do something.

This maybe a low depression state, but honestly, i know i'm having it but i really can't seem to face it. I really can't accept it.

I know it is but my mind tells me it is not.

I need to get back on the right track.

My mind is killing me.

Sunday Morning

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers, share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
I never want to leave

oh yea
But things just get so crazy even life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you

And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
I never want to leave

oh yea yea, oh yea yea,
oh yea yea

There's a flower in your hair,
and I'm the flower in your hair, oh oh

oh yea yea, oh yea yea,
oh yea yeah!

The Sun of Songs About Jane.

Love the way they compose the song. :D


The Sun

After school, walking home
Fresh dirt under my fingernails
And I can smell hot asphalt
Cars screech to a halt to let me pass

And I cannot remember
What life was like through photographs
And trying to recreate images
Life gives us from our past
And sometimes it's a sad song

But I cannot forget, refuse to regret
So glad I met you and
Take my breath away, make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I have gone through

And mama I've been cryin'
Cause things ain't how they used to be
She said the battles almost won
And we're only several miles from the sun

Moving on down my street
I see people I won't ever meet
Think of her, take a breath
Feel the beat in the rhythm of my steps
And sometimes it's a sad song

But I cannot forget, refuse to regret
So glad I met you
Take my breath away, make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I have gone through

And mama I've been cryin'
Cause things ain't how they used to be
She said the battles almost won
And we're only several miles from the sun

The rhythm of her conversation
The perfection of her creation
The sex she slipped into my coffee
The way she felt when she first saw me

Hate to love and love to hate her
Like a broken record player
Back and forth and here and gone
And on and on and on and on

But I cannot forget, refuse to regret
So glad I met you and
Take my breath away make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I have gone through

And mama I've been cryin'
Cause things ain't how they used to be
She said the battles almost won
And we're only several miles...
She said the battles almost won
And we're only several miles from the sun

Wasted Years

This song is superb cool. Love the lyrics and the way the song goes. <3 :D

Wasted Years

Slow is the memory
I can picture her standin' right in front of me
Orange blossoms crushed on concrete
I walk around with bare feet, 'cuz I know you want me

Can't remember anything
Her skin it tastes like sugar cane
And I had already gotten there before I came
My tank is empty and I know you're thirsty

But I have already tried to explain myself
It's not that I love someone else
But I can't bear to listen to your cry, yeah
I'm sick of all these wasted years
A rag for someone else's tears
I wring you out as I hang you out to dry
No, no, no, no, no, no, yeah

And I'll see you when I get back
Maybe we can get ourselves back on the right track
You touch me there because you know how much I like that
I think that we will need to relax 'cuz I know you want me

All the time and everywhere
A happy surface but the underbelly isn't there
The worst thing is that I don't even really care
The emptiness is too much to bear

But I have already tried to explain myself
It's not that I love someone else
But I can't bear to listen to your cry
I'm sick of all these wasted years
A rag for someone else's tears
I wring you out as I hang you out to

C'mon c'mon, get off the phone, please, come home
It's been so lonely since you've been gone
Your love surround me, up and down me
Be all around me, baby, I can't breathe no more

C'mon c'mon, get off the phone, please, come home
It's been so lonely since you've been gone
Your love surround me, up and down me
Be all around me, baby, I can't breathe no more

But I have already tried to explain myself
It's not that I love someone else
But I can't bear to listen to your cry
I'm sick of all these wasted years
A rag for someone else's tears
I wring you out as I hang you out to dry

Sick of all these wasted years
A rag for someone else's tears
I wring you out as I hang you out to, to, dry
To try, try to get back home

Try, you try, yeah

Never Gonna Leave This Bed.

Never Gonna Leave This Bed.

You push me, I don't have the strength to
Resist or control you
So take me down
Take me down

You hurt me, but do I deserve this?
You make me so nervous
Calm me down
Calm me down

Wake you up in the middle of the night to say
I will never walk away again
I'm never gonna leave this bed

So come here and never leave this place
Perfection of your face
Slows me down
Slows me down
So fall down I need you to trust me
Go easy, don't rush me
Help me out why don't you help me out

Wake you up in the middle of the night to say,
I will never walk away again
I'm never gonna leave this bed
Oh so you say "go, It isn't worth it"
and I say "no, It isn't perfect"
so I stay and still
I'm never gonna leave this bed

Take it, take it all take all that I have
I'd give it all away just to get you back
And fake it, fake it I'll take what I can get
Knocking so loud, can you hear me yet?
Try to stay awake but you can't forget

Wake you up in the middle of the night to say,
I will never walk away again
I'm never gonna leave this bed
You say "go, It isn't worth it"
and I say "no It isn't perfect"
so I stay and still
I'm never gonna leave this bed

Take it, take it all take all that I have
Take it, take it all take all that I have
Take it, take it all take all that I have

Just A Feeling of Hands All Over.

Just A Feeling.

I watched you cry
Bathed in sunlight
By the bathroom door
You said you wished you did not love me anymore

You left your flowers in the backseat of my car
The things we said and did have left permanent scars
Obsessed depressed at the same time
I can't even walk in a straight line
I've been lying in the dark no sunshine
No sunshine
No Sunshine

She cries This is more than goodbye
When I look into your eyes
You're not even there
It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

I can't believe that it's over
You've hit your low
You've lost control and you want me back
You may not believe me but I gave you all I have
Oh just confess that you're still mine
I roll around in a bed full of tears
I'm still lying in the dark no sunshine
No sunshine
No Sunshine

She cries this is more than goodbye
When i look into your eyes you're not even there

It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

No I can't believe that it's over now baby
So much to say
It's not the way she does her hair
It's the way she seems to stare right through my eyes
And in my darkest day when she refused to run away
The love she tried so hard to save

It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

I can't believe that it's over

Maroon 5

I'm finally back to blogging!
Well, for a short one i guess.
I'd love to blog this out simply because i feel superb happy in my life so far.
After all the pain i suffered in my heart and studies; i really do wanna enjoy my life in every freaking way i could. I just wanna enjoy every single moment and let go every sad moment at the back of my mind. :D

So yeah, Maroon 5!
Debut concert at Stadium Putra, Bukit Jalil. 29th of April 2011.
Well, the girls love their looks and some of their top hits songs; for me personally, i love their concept of their three albums. Songs About Jane; It Won't Be Soon Before Long and their latest Hands All Over.
I love almost all of their songs; it relaxes me, makes me feel good, makes me feel peaceful and makes me feel lovely! LOL.

So, on 29th of April, I went to their concert with Amy, Suzanne and her schoolmate, Olivia. :D
These are some of the pictures :D



A day before the concert! :D



Amy and I, just love my hair. :D haha

Suzanne, Amy and I. :)

Adam Levine. :D

Olivia, Suzanne, Maroon 5, Me and Amy. :D




Ohh Carol !
Finally i met this friend of mine after almost 4 years!
The last we met was during form 3 seminar at Kasturi, according to her. Lol.
I've certainly lost alot of memory of it.
Anyway, your face changed alot the last time we've met; went prettier i guess. haha.
I wasn't expecting to meet you though, simply cause last two months we've been trying to plan to meet up and none of it works! LOL
So i have a HUGE doubt that we would meet up at Maroon 5's, guess i was wrong. :D
I'm glad to have finally met you. :)




After several long months, i have finally find the happiness inside me.
I enjoyed every single moment with my Johannian buddies and college friends as well.
I felt this happiness inside me so far in my life and imma continue doing what i feel best; happy! :D

ohh ohh, and i can't stop listening to Maroon 5, all of their songs. Yes, all of them.
They are all sound so good that i listen to them every single moment.
:D
I just love their songs. :D